Dating a divorced woman
Ok...the problem is that this girl was married and has a son. I don't know how long ago her marriage ended, but it seems that she's trying to build up her love life again. She is very nice and I feel I'm doing all the right things. I'm laid back, I'm leading, teasing her, being warm but not complying... and I feel I'm building up solid attraction. But for some reason my instinct senses the presence of her husband...we haven't had sex yet although we've slept in the same bed (we've been dating a month so far). I feel that she needs to feel safe around me and also that she feels a strong moral responsibility towards hed son. And I understand... But being understanding can lead towards being too nice...and this is is not the way...she's a woman and even though it's reductionistic to generalize, I feel that I must trust my knowledge about female psychology and behaviour. What do you suggest my approach should be at this stage? Thank you in advance F.
Hmm. Very interesting.
I'm not privy to the entire story here, but in my opinion, if a woman sleeps with you in the same bed more than once and no sexual activity happens, something is not quite right, and you may not necessarily want to find out why. There are special cases, of course, but the sexual response is one of our most powerful, biologically-determined instincts, and for someone to suppress it that long must mean that either a) she's not that into you or b) there are some iceberg-sized trust issues that you (or anyone else) don't want to mess with. Either way, it means "run". If I were in your position, I would ask myself, "Am I getting what I want out of this, or am I just being strung along?" It's all about fulfillment, my friend, so if a month-long case of testicular venous congestion is your idea of fun, by all means, go ahead. If it were me, I would not let her have any more sleepovers until she makes it perfectly clear what she wants and where she stands.
I also want you to look back on the times when you really did have solid attraction with a woman. Do you remember how she couldn't take her eyes off you, had her hands all over you and generally just wanted to be around you and physically interact with you? Did you have to think about whether you had attraction, or did you know beyond a shadow of a doubt? Sometimes we have the answers but we forget to trust ourselves. Compare this picture to other ones from the past, and you'll know where you stand.
All the best,
Dr Alex
Hmm. Very interesting.
I'm not privy to the entire story here, but in my opinion, if a woman sleeps with you in the same bed more than once and no sexual activity happens, something is not quite right, and you may not necessarily want to find out why. There are special cases, of course, but the sexual response is one of our most powerful, biologically-determined instincts, and for someone to suppress it that long must mean that either a) she's not that into you or b) there are some iceberg-sized trust issues that you (or anyone else) don't want to mess with. Either way, it means "run". If I were in your position, I would ask myself, "Am I getting what I want out of this, or am I just being strung along?" It's all about fulfillment, my friend, so if a month-long case of testicular venous congestion is your idea of fun, by all means, go ahead. If it were me, I would not let her have any more sleepovers until she makes it perfectly clear what she wants and where she stands.
I also want you to look back on the times when you really did have solid attraction with a woman. Do you remember how she couldn't take her eyes off you, had her hands all over you and generally just wanted to be around you and physically interact with you? Did you have to think about whether you had attraction, or did you know beyond a shadow of a doubt? Sometimes we have the answers but we forget to trust ourselves. Compare this picture to other ones from the past, and you'll know where you stand.
All the best,
Dr Alex
posted by Dr Alex at 12:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home